Christmas Wars, Episode II: Attack of the Moderates

Christmas Wars Episode 2: Attack of the Moderates

As the dark empire is forced to retreat from retail outlets across the country, the Christmas resistance moves in full force with Christmas cheer, determined to restore traditional Christmas to America.

The ACLU stormtroopers are being held at bay by Jerry Falwell’s phalanx of attorneys and the the spotlight of Captain Bill O’Reilly’s starship “Talking Points.”

In the midst of this idyllic scene, enter a ragtag group of moderate Conservatives determined to prove they’re not like those reactionary nuts and this is all a plot to sell books.

Our heroes led by Adam “Young Santa” Blogwalker must rise to the challenge as the war on Christmas enters a crucial stage.

Don Surber who has a problem with Jerry Falwell having 1600 lawyers on hand to counter the ACLU on this Christmas stuff. I find that position non-sensical. If the ACLU is going too far with some of its suits as Surber admits, then it makes sense to have lawyers on the side of those who wish to keep Christmas because what’s happening is that with the ACLU suing so many people when planning their Christmas celebrations, schools and other groups don’t plan in accordance with the findings of the Federal Courts, they want to avoid a lawsuit so they go to the other direction, doing such non-sensical things as forbidding Red and Green napkins and change the names of Christmas breaks lest anyone be offended.Moving on, Beth at My Vast Right Wing Conspiracy argues that Happy Holidays is a matter of simple politeness. What if someone doesn’t believe in Christmas? Beth acknowledges most people who don’t celebrate Christmas aren’t offended. So, if I’m getting this straight stores, and the 80+% of Americans who Celebrate Christmas + the majority of the rest of those who don’t care have to go ahead and play the “Happy Holidays” pretend game for a bunch of easily offended cretins who are still going to find something to be offended about particularly if they ever find out what we are really celebrating. Shhhh. Its a secret, can’t let them know.

We live in a world where the word “Christmas” itself has been attacked as offensive because Christ is offensive. There’ve been cases (documented by David Limbaugh in his book, “Persecution”.) of Menorahs standing and Manger scenes coming down. While John Gibson may be making some money off this (and more power to him) that doesn’t negate the point. The book idea wasn’t based on nothing. Its based on a real effort against Christmas.

I’ve also got to say this. I don’t particularly like Halloween, I don’t like Halloween decorations, Halloween candy, or anything. I believe its truly the Devil’s day and I would say there are a lot more Americans offended by Halloween then there are Christmas. (I’m not going to boycott or make a stink that’s just how I feel.) Yet, the same stores that in the name of politeness say “Happy Holidays” go around shouting, “Have a Happy Halloween” and encourage their employees to dress up for Halloween. Why doesn’t the fact that I hate Halloween stop it from coming?

Yes, you can cite a few examples of towns cracking down on Halloween for whatever reason, be it safety or concerns about giving offense but compared to Christmas, those are few and far between.

What about the 4th of July and Veterans Day? Those offend a lot of anti-American marxists. We still have Columbus Day despite the fact that a lot of Native Americans don’t like it. Indeed, there are people who don’t like the flag, who think our country is the source of evil in the world (and they live within our borders.) Even New Years is discriminatory against those who are Jewish, Muslim, or Chinese. Its not THEIR New Year, its what we impose on those who go by different calendars than us. Where are we going to stop in neutering our traditions and culture so we can gloss over our differences? There really is no limit in theory once you accept the argument behind “Happy Holidays.”

Couldn’t all these be argued to be just as much “bad manners” as Merry Christmas? Or maybe someday they will be.

Maybe, we should get rid of all seasonal greeting for the simple, “Have a nice day…” but even that might offend the masochists.

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