Dave Screwtape Presents: The Republican Defeat Checklist

[This is a continuation of a series I wrote in 2003 and 2004. The, "The Screwtape Reports" is now available from Lulu.com]

From: Dave Screwtape

To: Congressional Democrats, Friendly Media

Subject: Republican Defeat Checklist

To make sure we’re all on the same page about what we want to see Republicans doing in the next few months, I’ve created this handy guide to the components of the Republican defeats in 2006 and 2008.

1) Get leadership drunk on power.

Status: Done

This has been a classic case of absolute power corrupting absolutely. The Republican goal is merely getting re-elected so that they can go back to Washington in January and work to get re-elected. Look at the Republican leadership. We have Senator Frist who plays politics with people’s health and lives on Stem Cell research. We have the ever pompous Dennis Hastert who will go down in history as one of those anonymous Speakers of the House like Frederick Gillette or Joseph Varnum. Of course, adding to this impression is the indictment against former House Majority Leader Tom DeLay.

The current state of the Republican leadership leaves us several opportunities. First, it can help suppress the turnout of the Republican base and it can also make people look critically at their own member of Congress. A key talking point for Democratic challengers will be that their opponents are “out of touch.” It is a charge that most voters will readily embrace.

2) Decrease Republican Self-Confidence

Status: Done

Since the 1995 government shutdown, Republicans have been consistent primarily in their refusal to stand up for the things they say believe. It is remarkable the amount of sophistry Republicans go through these days. They have to sell Samuel Alito to Conservatives as someone who will overturn Roe v. Wade while at the same time selling him to the Country as someone who will not.

Indeed, Conservatives are a minority in this country and a quite embarrassed one at that. Of course, their attempts to hide their Conservatism is in fact hurting their cause, because it shows them as weak and ineffectual.

Anyone who says something like, “I hope Alito overturns Roe. It violated the Constitution,” will get a horrified look. Honesty is out of vogue. Voters, like dogs, can smell fear. They know Republicans are afraid to be up front about where they stand.
Such is the Republican lack of confidence that many are convinced the only way they can beat Hillary Clinton is to nominate Rudy Giuliani. To compare their level of desperation, it would be the same as if we concluded the only way we could beat Giuliani was to nominate Zell Miller.

There is an old saying, “What you fear shall come upon you.” Such will be the case with our opponents in the upcoming elections.

3) Turn the Base Against the Leadership/Each Other
Status: In progress

This takes some work, but “President” Bush helped a little bit with the Miers nomination. Say the word Harriet Miers in a crowded room full of Conservatives and watch the fireworks go off. Those who supported the nominee will insist how wrong the others were and vice versa. Another key issue is congressional spending which angers some conservatives, and others get angry at those who are upset at the leadership.

You have to understand there’s a fundamental divide between Conservatives. There are ideologically driven Conservatives and then there’s another group I like to refer to as sycophants. Their argument is simple: “Bush said so,” and to that there can no rebuttal in their minds. They’ve gotten drunk on the power held by a bunch of people who couldn’t care less about them.

Of course, the leadership is embarrassed by much of the Conservative base, particularly the religious conservatives, but also people who speak about the need for smaller government. I’ve quietly observed some of these congressmen at Washington parties and I’ve heard them talk about how intolerant and uncompassionate these people are. Yet, it was these people that brought them to power, a fact they wish to forget, and we should be more than happy to oblige them.

Those of you in the media should encourage them to throw away a bird in the hand for two in the bush. Praise them when they try to get the votes of pro-choicers and gays at the expense of the Christian Conservative, and the Immigration activists at the expense of the anti-immigration crowd. The best possible world is to have them try to win all constituencies at the same time. It will be greatly amusing to see that political gymnastics act in action. Most voters will recognize that they don’t really stand for anything.

4) Encourage the Voters to Blame Themselves for Nothing
Status: To Be Done

This will be easy enough. Voters will complain about a lot of things, but will generally not consider how they personally contribute to the national problems. Election day is the national day of self-righteousness as they stick their noses in the air at politicians. They’ll talk about the ridiculous size of the deficit, “the bridge to nowhere,” and the War in Iraq. You must leave them complaining.

Never let them think about government and politics. The reason there’s pork in the budget is because it re-elects politicians. People like the pork in their district and they think its all those other districts that have too much spending. When voters begin to think, start to actually inform themselves of the issues, and understand what’s going on in the country, the results can be unpredictable. We must plant firmly in the heads of voters that they should go out and vote, no matter how uninformed they are about what’s going on in their country.

With that and all the help the Republicans are giving us, I’ll look forward to seeing Nancy Pelosi sworn in as House Speaker in 2007.

Regards,
Dave Screwtape

The Screwtape Report is written by Adam Graham. The Screwtape Report is written from a Democratic perspective by a conservative in order to reveal Democratic strategy and thinking.

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