Fred Thompson On Who Wants to be a Presidential Candidate?

After many months and little success at finding out Fred Thompson’s intentions for 2008,  it was a thought a game show might provide clarification. (Hat Tip: Wuzzadem who was the first to employ this method.)

Welcome to Who Wants to be a Presidential Candidate?  I’m Meredith Viera. Today, I’d like to welcome former Senator Fred Thompson back to the show.

Meredith, it’s always my pleasure.

Senator, given that we’ve been through an episode of vigorous questioning together, could we be less formal? Can I call you Fred?

No, but you can call me “Fred!”

What’s the difference?

“Fred!” has an exclamation mark and is more exciting.

Okay, well then Senator Thompson, let’s play Who Wants to be a Presidential Candidate. Our final question is, “Will you run for President?” The options are: A) Yes, B) Maybe, C) Probably, D) No.

(Pause)

This is a tough one. Meredith, can I take a 50/50 on this?

Sure, let’s give the Senator a 50/50. The answers remaining are A) yes and D) no.

That don’t help much. That was what I was between before. Let me go ahead and use my phone-a-friend.

Who’d you like to call?

My old buddy, Howie.

All right, our friends from AT&T will get Howie on the phone.

(ringing)

Hello, former Senator Howard Baker speaking.

Hi, is this Howie?

*sighs* Yeah, I guess.

Hi, this is Meredith Viera, host of Who Wants to be a Presidential Candidate? Your friend, Senator Thompson has got a question he needs some help on.

Hey, Howie.

Don’t call me that on Televison, Fred!

Sorry, so Senator Baker, here’s the question. “Will you for President? A)yes, D) no.”

I’d go with A) yes.

Are you sure?

Yes.

Really sure?

Yes!

Positive?

Look Fred! When have I ever made a political mistake?

There was that whole Panama Canal thing that ticked off conservatives…

A momentary issue that didn’t have staying power. They got over it after about 20 years.

*buzz*

I’m sorry, you’re out of time. Senator Thompson, what’s your answer.

Meredith, I’ve made up my mind.

Great!

I’m going to provide America decisive leadership!

Sounds like we’re going to get-

Meredith, I want to ask the audience.

*sigh* Okay, members of audience in the studio or on AOL instant messanger can cast their vote. *waits a few minutes.* Alright, so it looks like 62% of the audience thinks you should say yes.

Meredith, we’re at a vital turning point in our country’s history.

Yes.

 

It’s time to do what must be done.

And…

 

Are there any other lifelines available?

No! You don’t get any more lifelines. There’s just three.

But this is the 15th Question. On Super Millionaire, they added two lifelines to the show.   Could I ask three wise men from Inside the Beltway for help?

Oh come on, that one’s not even possible. Where are we going to find three wise men in Washington?

I guess you’re right there. How about allowing me to answer the question twice if I’m not right the first time.

Okay, but will you answer it once?

Darn. Foiled again. *sighs* I just don’t know. Is it the right time? Am I the right man? Do I have the right shoes? I think I need to sleep on this more. But I’ll make up my mind.

In August?

I very well might, possibly could.

Well, but it’ll be before September right?

That’s something definitely to think about.

But you’re not foolhardy enough to think you put that off to October.

Foolhardy is such a harsh word.

*sigh* Okay, but Senator, when you announce whatever you’re going to announce, you’ll do it on Today. You’ll do it on the Network that’s made you a star.

I don’t know if you’re one to talk given that you left ABC-

That completely different! Fred!, will you make your announcement on Today?

I very well could.

Senator, we have ways of insuring you do.

Are you threatening me?

Senator, let’s just say we have bought the rights to air a major film of yours on NBC.

You wouldn’t?

We would.

*sigh* I’ll be happy to announce whatever I decide to do on Today.

Thank you very much. That’s Senator Fred Thompson, potential presidential candidate (or maybe not)