December 31, 2005

How to Write Hate Mail

Posted by Adam Graham in : Blogging

I was reading about Mike Adams “Hate Mail of the Year” Column where he listed some of the ridiculous hate mail he got. I thought, maybe I should do that.

I ran into a small problem: No hate mail! All year and no real, “We Hate Your Guts” e-mail. I mean, not even a, “I Heartily Dislike You” mail. So, I thought I’d write some tips for effective hate mail. (effective for me anyway):

1) Actually E-mail It

I got some Hate Comments, but Hate Mail has to be e-mailed. On the right side of the screen is an e-mail link at which you may send me all sorts of hateful comments, please it use it.

2) Start With a Good Short Opening:

“Adam Graham, you jerk” is a little long and stilted, try, “You jerk” or “Hey Jerk!” much more effective.

3) Please Don’t Use Spell Check

Its so impersonal and doesn’t allow you to express the real you. In fact, for my purposes it would be helpful if you typed the message blindfolded.

4) Be Direct with Your Message. Some of the Hate Comments, I got last June are good examples:

Wuss-Sos.

Chickenhawk.-Active Duty

I generally opt for this as the opening but for Sos, that was the whole comment which communicated the depth of his message.

5) Please Don’t Think:

Please write your post without thought for rational arguments or for the state of our civil discourse. The last thing the world of hate mail needs is thoughtful people. Indeed, putting thought into what you write and say would have that bad effect of changing our culture and producing a civil society.

We can’t have that now, can we?

So, get that hate mail coming for next year. ;) If you’re sarcasm impaired, e-mail me for explanation. :)

2 Comments

  1. Comment by Andrea Graham [Member]

    I can’t believe someone took this serious. You can’t get much more tongue-in-cheek.

    Honey, if you actually like hate-mail, though, I suggest you may want to get your head examined…. Then again, maybe the apostles did, too, they said to rejoice at the first century equivalent of hate-mail. Something about you’re doing the right thing if the world hates you?

    If anybody understands that saying, please explain it. Thank you.

  2. Comment by Adam Graham [Member]

    I was tongue-in-cheek, though hate mail is a sign of being successful in writing. All the big ones get it.

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