Mike Huckabee’s 12 Days of Christmas 1999

Thinking about Mike Huckabee’s big list of gifts from 1999, I had the idea for a 12 days of Christmas song about the number of gifts he received. Then when I saw Politico was holding a political Christmas Carol writing contest, I couldn’t resist.

So, the following is Mike Huckabee’s 12 days of Christmas 1999 based on gifts he actually received as governor. Note that I rounded some of the dollar amounts ($360 doesn’t exactly fit into the motif) but I’ve included a handy list of notes at bottom so you can find them in Huckabee’s own list.

Mike Huckabee’s 12 Days of Christmas ‘99

On the first day of Christmas,
My good friends gave to me,
A half off discount at Wendy’s.

On the second day of Christmas,
My good friends gave to me,
Two gift baskets,
And a half off discount at Wendy’s.

On the third day of Christmas,
My good friends gave to me,
Three pricey bouquets,
Two gift baskets,
And a half off discount at Wendy’s.

On the fourth day of Christmas,
My good friends gave to me,
$400 free calling,
Three pricey bouquets,
Two gift baskets,
And a half off discount at Wendy’s.

On the fifth day of Christmas,
My good friends gave to me,
Five hundred dollars!
$400 free calling,
Three pricey bouquets,
Two gift baskets,
And a half off discount at Wendy’s.

On the sixth day of Christmas,
My good friends gave to me,
Six bowl game tickets,
Five hundred dollars!
$400 free calling,
Three pricey bouquets,
Two gift baskets,
And a half off discount at Wendy’s..

On the seventh day of Christmas,
My good friends gave to me,
$700 duck prints,
Six bowl game tickets,
Five hundred dollars!
$400 free calling,
Three pricey bouquets,
Two gift baskets,
And a half off discount at Wendy’s.

On the eight day of Christmas,
My good friends gave to me,
An 800xp model plane,
$700 duck prints,
Six bowl game tickets,
Five hundred dollars!
$400 free calling,
Three pricey bouquets,
Two gift baskets,
And a half off discount at Wendy’s.

On the ninth day of Christmas,
My good friends gave to me,
9 lots-o-clothes,
An 800xp model plane,
$700 duck prints,
Six bowl game tickets,
Five hundred dollars!
$400 free calling,
Three pricey bouquets,
Two gift baskets,
And a half off discount at Wendy’s.

On the tenth day of Christmas,
My good friends gave to me,
$10,000 in flowers,
Nine lots-o-clothes,
An 800xp model plane,
$700 duck prints,
Six bowl game tickets,
Five hundred dollars!
$400 free calling,
Three pricey bouquets,
Two gift baskets,
And a half off discount at Wendy’s.

On the eleventh day of Christmas,
My good friends gave to me,
Eleven movie trips,
$10,000 in flowers,
Nine lots-o-clothes,
An 800xp model plane,
$700 duck prints,
Six bowl game tickets,
Five hundred dollars!
$400 free calling,
Three pricey bouquets,
Two gift baskets,
And a half off discount at Wendy’s.

On the twelfth day of Christmas,
My good friends gave to me,
Twelve months free boating,
Eleven movie trips,
$10,000 in flowers,
Nine lots-o-clothes,
An 800xp model plane,
$700 duck prints,
Six bowl game tickets,
Five hundred dollars!
$400 free calling,
Three pricey bouquets,
Two gift baskets,
And a half off discount at Wendy’s.

Notes for each verse:

1) Item 21: less than $100

2) Items 53 and 54: Two Hospitality Baskets given to the Governor and First lady

3) Items 11-13: Three $250 bouquet’s given to Mrs. Huckabee by Jennings Osborn: $750 total.

4) Item 64: $360 in free Cell Phone Service from Sprint PCS

5) Items 76-78: One $500 clothing gift certificate presented to each of the Huckabee children from Jennings Osborn.

6) Item 18 and 49: Two Tickets to the Citrus Bowl, Four Tickets to the Cotton Bowl. Total: $350

7) Items 32 and 44

8: Item 22: Value: $300

9) Items 27, 30, 31, 37, 38, 45-48: From Jennings Osborn. $23,032 Total.

10) Item 9: $200 in flowers once a week from Jennings Osborn. $10,400 Total.

11) Items 19 and 20: Two unlimited movie passes for two separate theaters. Total: $219

12) Item 62: Value: $2500