Parody News: Operation Yellow Elephant Succeeds, Millions Mobilized

(Washington, DC)-Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld announced that due to a successful campaign by liberal bloggers at Operation Yellow Elephant, all able bodied Americans between the ages of 17-42 who support the Iraq War have enlisted.

President George W. Bush hailed it as proof of public support for the Iraq War and asked congress to immediately approve the $9.3 trillion additional annual appropriations required to help the 23 million new soldiers mobilize.

“This bill will quadruple taxes,” said Bush. “leaving those Americans not serving with their children starving and unable to provide basic necessities, but on the bright side, this will shut up Jesus General and I think it’s worth it.”

President Bush said he would set an example by downgrading his expensive fleet of Limousines and SUVs with a fleet of 1980s Mazda, Toyota, and Honda Hatchbacks.

Nancy Pelosi attacked the President, near her Lamborgini, for not buying American used cars.

In Iraq, not everyone was pleased with the decision, Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki said, “What part of, ‘as they stand up, we’ll stand down’ did we somehow misinterpret?”

US Commanders on the ground grumbled on background about having to train 23 million new troops to help them train the 350,000 member Iraqi Army.

Though official brass such as General John Abizaid have put a positive spin on the story. “It’s the opposite of those underfunded public schools. Imagine it! 65 US soldiers for every Iraqi troop.”

Abizaid also praised the US for having foresight. “It’s so important for our leaders to have the foresight that the US military doesn’t just need the best soldiers possible, but anyone within weight and age limits who can pick up a rifle without shooting themselves.”

Not all bloggers are happy or will be heading over to Iraq. Ultra-conservative Adam Graham complained, “They said I was a chubby boy.” Graham, however chose to look on the bright side. “With the new 85% tax bracket, I’ll not have enough money to buy food, so I should be combat ready in a few months.”

That’s not stopping Operation Yellow Elephant bloggers from taunting Graham with, “Fatty, fatty two by four, can’t fit through the recruiter’s door.”

When asked about the taunt, Graham replied, “It’s about the same level of dialogue I was getting from the left before.”

Related:

Yellow Elephant Math

Linked to Jo’s Cafe,Third World County, Random Yak, Dumb Ox

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